War of Nerves
by Black Jaggan
Summary: SasuSaku songfic. Sakura suddenly realizes that this isn't the life she had hoped for. Rated PG13, cuz I hate G and PG .


Jaggan: Yup yup...next story Neji: Another piece of crap...Hehe..I'm kinda starting to feel sorry for Sasugay.. Sasuke: Why don't you use your precious Neji-muse for your stupid stories?! Jaggan: I was gonna use him...and pair him up with Hinata, but he's too hard to write. Neji: Yeah...cuz I got personality. Jaggan: No, cuz you're a stuck up prick...¬.¬ Neji... Well at least I'm a not a second rank muse... Sasuke?: sigh Jaggan: Okay, when you biatches are done nagging...we're gonna start the story  
  
Monday on the line When you know that now's the time To leave and be free Aware of your destiny  
  
When that moment arrives Wild visions through the mind And all I see, is what used to be My life could soon be a memory  
  
I don't ever wanna feel pain Wanna be ready when you call my name I don't ever wanna feel fear Cos every night feels alright, when you're near  
  
"I don't know why I'm even staying!" Sakura yelled. She had never yelled at him like that. She was shocked by her own outburst of anger. She loved him, right? Suddenly she wasn't so sure anymore. Why was she still here? Cause she loved him. She had always loved him, even though he hadn't deserved her love. This morning she had realized. Staying would be self-destruction. It would eat her up from the inside. But she couldn't leave. Without him she was nothing. She had devoted all of her life to him, leaving him would be just as painful. She needed him. She was still hoping for him to open up, to love her back, to call her name with as much tenderness as she had called his so often. The safety she felt, when he got home in the middle of the night.  
  
Battle through this wall of nerves When your life, it takes a turn What I have is what I feel While in my mind you're lying here  
  
Fear that unholy dread There's a piece of me in all he says All kinds of weird stuff inside my head The stage freight in my own bed  
  
I don't ever wanna feel pain Wanna be ready when you call my name I don't ever wanna feel fear Cos every night feels alright, when you're near  
  
He had just walked out the door when she yelled at him. Just like he didn't care. She was fooling herself. He didn't care. He didn't care at all. All she had was her love for him. This painful unreturned love. Her feelings for him were all that kept her here. She had often daydreamed about a world in which he returned her love, in which she would feel happiness again. But all those dreams got smashed to pieces every time he would look at her or talk to her. Every time a piece of her died. His coldness was just killing her. He had never shown her anything resembling love or even like. She had always tried to justify his behaviour, always hoped he would change. Lately she just didn't know how to act around him. He was seldom at home, but when he was, she was just scared. Scared of doing or saying something that would make him hurt her even more. Every stare or glance was like a dagger in her heart. She should leave. Leave today and return to the old Sakura. Return to the loving, kind and happy girl she once was.  
  
Don't wanna be like a voice without words Cos I need you here with me Don't wanna be alone in this world Will I suppress my fear And will I beat this war of nerves  
  
I don't ever wanna feel pain Wanna be ready when you call my name I don't ever wanna feel fear Cos every night feels alright, when you're near  
  
I don't ever wanna feel pain When it's over will I feel the same? I don't ever wanna feel fear This war of nerves that I reserve for when you're here  
  
I don't ever wanna feel pain I'm feeling hurt, but I feel no shame I don't ever wanna feel fear Do I deserve these cruel words we have here  
  
She just couldn't. She needed him. Why couldn't she leave? He brought her so much pain and sorrow. But without him, she was alone. She knew he wouldn't change. He would never give her love or happiness. But her life was here. She had chosen it. Giving up wasn't an option. She would stay by his side and survive the pain. She would be strong and ignore the hurt, cause she needed him. He would probably never love her like she loved him, but when he opened up, she would be there. Even after all the cruel things he said, the degrading sneers, the angry comments. Even when nothing would change, even if the pain would get worse, she would be there. Just like she had promised on the happiest day of her life.  
  
"To love and honour him, through good and bad..."  
  
Jaggan: I know...it was crap..... Neji: nods Sasuke: Yes...it was. Jaggan: Ah well....at least I won't get flamed for writing yaoi again Sasuke: mumbles Rather Naruto than Sakura.... cough, cough Neji: WHAT?! Jaggan: What did you say my dear muse? Sasuke: Nothing...hmpf Jaggan: Well, you heard it....read and review... 


End file.
